i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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