You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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