i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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