I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
