Where is the hickey?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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