did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
