well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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