Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
