god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
