Do you still have your period?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
