we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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