We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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