The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
