Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
