fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Panties = found
Randomize
