i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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