just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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