What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
