found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
