I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
