just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
