wanna go halves on a baby?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Terrible idea I love it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
