i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
