Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
