She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
