You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize