It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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