Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
