Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize