actually, I'm a sock model
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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