I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
