my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
