oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
