ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize