Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
