You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
