i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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