We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We're too hungover to prance.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
