I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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