Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
