Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize