not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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