You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
