kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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