The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize