oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize