You're completely useless in the revolution.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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