My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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