Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Send help, water and tortillas.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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