It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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