it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
