she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
