I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
