So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize