I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
