Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
