Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
