He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
