the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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