this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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