Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize