i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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