ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If I die, sorry about rent.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
